John, you see, ultimately falls into the trappings of being a “nice guy,” feeling he deserves love and sex and happiness, if life was only fair right? He wonders what he lacks that other successful, happy peens have.
Throughout the story, you’ll explore measures of success and self-worth, first through work and material possessions, then seeking love through online dating, and taking a trip to become more cultured and well traveled and have exciting experiences to post to Buttstagram, hitting the gym and getting ripped, and finally having failed all that you turn inward to self-destructive behaviors: drinking, toxically aggressive advances, and violence. All the while you are haunted by your inner demons, and your high school crush’s words “No one will ever love you.” The game’s Stranger Than Fiction-esque monotone female narration will remind you of The Stanley Parable right away. Your high school reunion is three months away and you are seeking to prove yourself to your peers. You live alone, have a decent office job at a dildo manufacturer (after having worked your way up from product testing), you date, you have few friends (really only one it seems, Sam, a coworker who is married with kids). It is a simple story, you play an average, late 20’s peen named John. Now, in the world of Genital Jousting, instead of humans, the world is populated by ‘peens’ which are basically a penis, testicles with an anus. Ok, it wasn’t all that dramatic, but at the same time, I was expecting a few physics based puzzles and crude humor, instead I received a story that strikes deep at the heart of what it means to live in this modern age, and more specifically, to be male. In any case, with a few hours to kill, I figured I’d start it up for some shits and giggles and play the story mode, having no inkling of the dark, fleshy journey through the bowels of my mind I was about to begin. It is hard for me to describe the complex, deep seated, almost primal feelings its image evokes in me. While largely discredited by modern psychology, I still think Freud may have been on to something with his focus on the phallus. I realized that the source of my inhibitions was buried deep inside my own psyche. While I was tempted to get Genital Jousting for a good laugh at parties, I wondered if I could bring myself to play it openly with all of my friends. It reminded me somewhat of the uncomfortability of watching The Wall’s flower scene with family one time, of course, that is a more of an erotic acid trip while Genital Jousting is more of a pre-teen dick joke.Īnyone who has played a round of Cards Against Humanity with me knows I’m far from a prude. Genital Jousting’s early access trailer, despite making me giggle like a 13 year old, admittedly gave me strange feelies in my stomach and small, disturbed twitches in my loins when I saw it a little over a year ago. Perhaps it may tell you something about my girlfriend that it is in her library, oh yes, she is a keep’er.
#GIRLS PLAY GENITAL JOUSTING FREE#
One of those was Genital Jousting, a game I’d followed since early access (I’m a big fan of another Free Lives title, Broforce) and it was recently released this last January. So, turning on her computer, figured it would be an opportunity to play a few games in her Steam library that had never found their way into mine. The other day, she had a short shift at work so I figured I would wait for her at her house after I’d dropped her off. It is nice to be able to share a big passion of mine with my significant other, and I would count it as at least partially responsible for our compatibility. My girlfriend is a big gamer, probably a bigger gamer than myself.
Warning: this post is a bit Not Safe For Work. If you find depictions of male genitalia disturbing, best turn off your screen and throw your device out the nearest window.
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